President Obama has taken over at White House or should I say, Black house or colored house if you want to be politically correct. How does this affect us at Mumbai you ask?
It does, it does.
Lack of humor: We who have been finding exquisite humor in putting down Bush no longer have a target. I mean no one can make funny faces like him. Just search for the word Funny or idiotic in Google and you will see only images of Bush. Bush reading a book upside down, Bush making a statement and forgetting what he said and on and on…
No more ‘stray’ dogs: Obama has taken all this talk about getting rid of stray dogs seriously and resolved the issue by adopting one. There is news that many strays are missing from their usual haunts of vice and are spending their days nibbling delicacies and having shampoo treatments at various mansions. The number of cases of dog bites and rabies have gone up proportionately at Breach Candy, Lilavati and other such hospitals frequented by the elite.
Recession Fashion: Not just the President, but the first lady too has changed our lives and perception of fashion. People are flocking to shops to buy ‘recession’ fashion at god-knows-how-many thousand rupees. Recession is the new IN. Cost is no barrier.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Mad dogs - proving insanity
The new ruling on street dogs? They can be put down. But only if they are certifiably insane. How does one certify them as insane? What constitutes unreasonable behavior?
Here is the transcript below from the latest court case, where the lawyer defended a set of dogs sentenced to death.
Your honor, the following characteristics would indicate sane behavior and such dogs should be pardoned and not sentenced to death...
1. Barking at cars. Why? Because all dogs do bark at passing cars. That's why. If they only bark at particular type of cars- it means they are intelligent. How many human beings can identify car brands? If they bark only at particular car colors - it means, very clearly that they are not color blind. Simple.
2. Scaring school children and car drivers : Dogs by definition are unpredictable. Are they going to cross the road or not? Are they barking at me or someone else ? If they are not scaring someone with strange unpredictable behavior, they are insane.
3. Having a hole in the head. If you can see the dogs brain from just looking at it, obviously it is not brainless. Therefore, it cannot be classified as loco or cuckoo or mad or as not in full possession of its faculties. Whats funny?
4. Foaming at the mouth. If a dog is foaming at the mouth, it is apparently brushing its teeth daily and has forgotten to gargle properly. Don't we also make such mistakes? Such cleanliness can be expected only from those who are very conscious of the old saying- cleanliness being next to godliness. Such knowledge and personal hygiene indicate that the dog is perfectly sane. Same as you or me.
At this point, the judge said "Bow wow" or "Boo hoo" or something to that effect and lawyer rested his case, with these words:
Therefore, no dog, mongrel, cur or otherwise may be put to death for all above behaviors/ characteristics. That's all your honour.
Here is the transcript below from the latest court case, where the lawyer defended a set of dogs sentenced to death.
Your honor, the following characteristics would indicate sane behavior and such dogs should be pardoned and not sentenced to death...
1. Barking at cars. Why? Because all dogs do bark at passing cars. That's why. If they only bark at particular type of cars- it means they are intelligent. How many human beings can identify car brands? If they bark only at particular car colors - it means, very clearly that they are not color blind. Simple.
2. Scaring school children and car drivers : Dogs by definition are unpredictable. Are they going to cross the road or not? Are they barking at me or someone else ? If they are not scaring someone with strange unpredictable behavior, they are insane.
3. Having a hole in the head. If you can see the dogs brain from just looking at it, obviously it is not brainless. Therefore, it cannot be classified as loco or cuckoo or mad or as not in full possession of its faculties. Whats funny?
4. Foaming at the mouth. If a dog is foaming at the mouth, it is apparently brushing its teeth daily and has forgotten to gargle properly. Don't we also make such mistakes? Such cleanliness can be expected only from those who are very conscious of the old saying- cleanliness being next to godliness. Such knowledge and personal hygiene indicate that the dog is perfectly sane. Same as you or me.
At this point, the judge said "Bow wow" or "Boo hoo" or something to that effect and lawyer rested his case, with these words:
Therefore, no dog, mongrel, cur or otherwise may be put to death for all above behaviors/ characteristics. That's all your honour.
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