Baggage worries

This reporter friend of mine is a very helpful friend.
I have been grapling with achieveing fame in Bollywood and have had very little success so far. Afterall in this city of big dreams and small Shakeels

I was there on Page 3 a couple of times. It was me, holding drinks and standing behind Dharmendra and a sinfully happy Hema. It was my back visible behind the photo of an unhappy Kat on her birthday. My reporter friend tells me, it is just not enough.

'You need to travel, babe' he says shaking his head sadly - because he knows I can’t afford it right now.

What’s the point in traveling? Will it make me famous?

'Haven’t you seen the papers recently?' he asks twirling his bloody drink.
‘Fame is all about losing your baggage with all your belongings which you just can't do without on the flight,’ he says.

But, isn't it common sense to carry change of clothes on hand and especially important clothes on hand - I ask bemused. I have learned this at my mother’s knee I say.

My friend gulped down his drink, drowning his sorrows.

If you are going to talk common sense, you will never get into this industry and anyways can you see big stars holding on to tons of luggage on hand? How will they sign autographs and wave at cameras and act gracious with 10 kilos of clothes?

He had a point.

If I were a celebrity THAT is far more important than luggage! Guess I am not cut out to be a celebrity then, as I am packing a change of clothes and expensive things right in my hand luggage. Thank you very much.

Sounds of Mumbai - a short poem

Sizzle of a roadside stall,
Shrill sounds of a crow's call,
Flutter of a blue plastic sheet,
Hurrying feet on the busy street...

Droning noise of a drilling machine,
Water drips against the yellow sheen,
Ring tone from a musical mobile,
A high-heel teetering by - in style...

Happy laughter of school kids,
Mingled with the shopkeepers bids,
The insistent temple bells jingle,
A caller tune for this man-made jungle!

Coffee experiences that stink

Coffee shops are proliferating all over the neighborhood, like moss on stones in rainy season. Their charges are without doubt exorbitant. When a Shiv Sagar or a Macs manages coffee for Rs.25 , these coffee 'experiences' charge us Rs.45- 70. One wonders then why they feel this urge to fleece those already paying such high prices.

Is it because they think that their customers who pay such high prices are fools and can be taken for a ride? I remember my experience in Bangalore in one of these aforementioned coffee shops. When we ordered Cappuccino, the waiter smiled and asked us what flavour we would like the drink in. Like lambs, we bleated out our favourite flavours. Only when he presented our bill did we find out that 'flavor' was an add-on.

A similar experience in Mumbai recently has left me seething. At a coffee shop, we stood at the orange-colored counter to place our order and were asked to go and seat ourselves. Someone would come to take the order. Weren't we surprised to discover an extra 70 odd bucks added to our bill - because we sat down and ordered? Cappuccino ordered at the counter and drunk sitting comes at Rs.46. But if you sit down and order it costs around Rs 75. What the hell?

So the next time you enter the hallowed portals of a coffee shop - be watchful, unless you don't mind paying for their innovative ways to fleece you.

Don't break your shoes - tread carefully

Just across my office window sits an old shoe repair guy. He sits in a cocoon of plastic, away from the rains and general hullabaloo. His cobble-ering tools are kept locked neatly in a wooden cupboard.

His interest is not in repairing shoes. He hates people who need their shoes repaired. They distract him from his primary activity of people watching. He frowns and declares that most things taken to him cannot be repaired and ought to be thrown away.

Then he gets back to people watching. There are enough exciting things going on in this street after all.
- A crow gets caught in a building and an ambulance is called.

- There are regular processions of Jains, Monks,Eunuchs, Teachers, Papad eaters, Weekend cricket association and Feminist movement associations and so on.

- There are violently fighting motorists who can't wait to get down and beat up the opposition for the merest scratch on their treasured vehicle.

- There are cinema actresses swishing past and gym-goers hobbling away...

What a treasure trove of humanity to study! The cobbler is definitely trying to complete a thesis on what he sees. Please don't break your shoes, watch where you put your foot in the rainy season. He will get disturbed.

A Soothing Rain poem

Another rainy day in Mumbai and another poem. This one is more soothing and relaxing than the earlier one which was about a more violent rain.

Drippy drizzly drowsy day,

Nibbling crispies at home, I stay.

Nursing a warm cup of tea and

Oh! What a rainy rainy day!

Washed window panes and roads

Soothing aromas of fresh leaves,

Cardomom and bay leaves,

Sneak up and caress my nose.

Curled up on a comfy sofa,

Nuzzling a cozy cushion

Reading a thrilling novel yet

Relaxing in a dreamy vision...

The real definition of Mumbai words

In Mumbai, here are the real definitions of public systems and
MUMBAI-

A crazy city with chain snatchers, train bombers, pick pockets , strong-willed politicians, party-mad celebrities but still Amchi Mumbai

CHAWL -

A housing arrangement for the poorer sections of society with dish antennas and Godrej bureaus sticking out of the metal roofs

ROAD - a barely-existent semi-flat part of the earth's surface where vehicles are supposed to travel.

GUTTER - The city's definition of living by the water-side or having a pool view.

BALCONY-
1. A useless place to store old cycles, broken furniture, clothes that don't fit etc.
2. Extra space provided by the builder to add to the space in the house.

AUTO -
A 3-wheeled vehicle that runs by itself and that runs in a zig-zag manner like a drunk snake

REAL ESTATE -
Space in the air where apartments used to stand but have collapsed

TREES -
As per birds, air conditioners are modern versions of trees
As per human beings, trees are green shady-providing things located only in weekend spots.

TAXIS-
A means of public transport where the driver refuses to drive you anywhere you want to go.

TRAINS -
Quick way to be flexible, agile and slim without going to a gym

BUSES -
A lesson in management concepts of: the art of hanging on by the fingertips, getting in and out Just-in-time etc.

CAR -
A very slow means of transport that guzzles expensive fuel and stalls in 2-feet of rain water every year, but still a must have

WINTER -
A time of year when we can actually wear our sweaters to air-conditioned malls and movie theaters

MOVIE THEATER -
The only getaway for working population that also cost the same as staying in a hotel in Lonavala overnight.

MALL -
A place for college kids and friends to hang out and a noisy place with the decibel levels of a rocket launch

and the final one.........
SKYWALK -
A shaky place that is close to heaven and hell and might get you there pretty quickly.
Students with low marks, wives weary of ill-treatment, husbands out of luck and money, the heartbroken are all headed here nowadays.

Rains = Onion Pakora and Masala Chai

Rainy seasons demands onion pakora and masala chai.

Here's the recipe of onion pakora the way I like it -crispy and spicy and simply too good when dipped in a good book.

Ingredients

2 onions cut in rings or into thin strips
2 spoons Besan or maida
1 spoon rice flour
1 spoon cornflour
Very small quantity of water
Add Chilli powder or chopped green Chilli for more spice
And salt for taste
Oil for frying

Put all the above ingredients in a bowl with just enough water so that they are mixed together. The taste of onion stands out this way and it doesn't become Bhajjia style (dripping with besan)

Deep fry till golden brown and enjoy.
For an added surprise element, you can put in some cashews. MMmmm can't wait for more rains